Wednesday, September 11, 2013
You walk into your house and it’s completely different — furniture, decor, all changed. And nobody’s home. What happened?
This week, I want you to write creatively. Look at the prompt above, and tell me what happens next, in 1or 2 paragraphs. Publish as a comment to this blog post. You have until Saturday, September 14, 2013 at 21:00 to respond to post your response.
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I was coming back home after a heavy party night, it was around 5 a.m and I had forgotten my keys. I figured out that the only way in without waking my parents up was sneaking in through the window.
ReplyDeleteI managed to climb the fence; then I reached to the window which was open, fortunately.
When I got to the living room, I noticed that there was no furniture, like at all, I suspected that on my blurry mind, and carried on, making sure to make as little noise as possible not to wake the folks up.
I had this "bright" idea that if I managed to sneak into my bed they wouldn't notice that I was out the previous night.
So I got to my room, and same thing, no furniture, walls all white...
I cannot be this drunk ? Could I ?
Well this seems very odd and I thought I could possibly check if my parents were there.
And guess what ? They weren't.
This is when I started to freak out...
This couldn't be real , I will escape from this house it can't be mind.
Silly me, It wasn't mine after all , I had managed to break into another house in the neighborhood that wasn't sold yet.
No need to say that I felt so miserable after this experience.
Meryem - very creative! I love your idea! Some minor word choice errors, but other than that, fantastic writing.
DeleteBlank and blank and blank...Everything is just white and grey, casper house, what the hell !? But first, let me start my story from the beginning.
ReplyDelete5 months earlier, I was assigned to the special forces for a special mission in Pakistan: kill the founder of al-Qaeda, Ousama Benladen. That was my last mission as a veteran.
The 3th may of 2011, my job was over, my military stuff ,too? So I thought visiting my old man. Many hours later, I was in front the house of my childhood, so much memories. Unfortunately, no one was home.
Now return to the present. I searched all the house for a clue, but nothing just walls. I almost started to shout...
I finally discovered the truth, my dad was murdered by a member of al-Qaeda. That was the price of my mission...
Wow! What a powerful story, Achraf. That's terrifying. I like your use of some phrases such as, "casper house" and "my old man." Make sure that when you start a sentence with a number, you write it out. Ex: 5 months earlier = Five months earlier
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ReplyDeleteIt was on that fateful day, December 28th that my life changed forever. I was coming home from high school as I did every day; I took out my keys and opened the door to my house. The shock was so great that my vision suddenly blurred and my knees went weak; the house where I grew up, the one where I could always come home to, was gone. When I finally found the strength to explore more than just the hallway, I discovered that the entire place was different; it was now a simple, small apartment with little furniture. The walls were a bright sickly white, the kitchen looked like it had never been used, the bathroom was the size of a closet and the bedroom was just big enough for a bed and a desk. I couldn’t believe my eyes, this was most certainly a mistake, this could NOT be happening! Where were my parents and my brothers?! I opened my mouth but couldn’t make any sound. I almost didn’t realize that I had turned around and walked out the apartment; I was hoping this was a hallucination, I was praying that I went into the wrong building. Any explanation would do at this point! But what I saw was even worse than anything I could have imagined.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I walked out the apartment, the scenery changed again. It took a while for me to realize my surroundings; this time, I was sitting in an armchair in what looked like an office. There were many books on several shelves, a large desk, and overall, it had a warm sense of security to it. I turned my head and an old man was sitting next to me, smiling. “Hello, Yousra,” he said, I didn’t know what to do, many thoughts were going through my head, but I couldn’t speak, and for some time: I didn’t. He started talking in a deep calming voice introducing himself first: Professor Charles Louis; however, nothing could have prepared me for what came after that introduction. As the professor spoke, my mind was tormented by flashes, images I did not, I could not believe. According to what he said, December 28th was the day my life stopped, literally; my house had burned down to ashes because of a candle I had forgot to put out, the consequences were too much for me to handle and so I shut myself off re-living that day over and over again in my mind. Apparently the apartment I was in earlier was the one I live in now in this institution, and this entire day I had not left his office, I was traveling through my own mind. It was unbearable but I could not deny, it was now clear, I can remember the days spent doing nothing in my apartment and I could also remember December 28th. Finally, I opened my mouth and asked him what today’s date was, he smiled for an answer.
Yousra, call M. Night Shyamalan! This could be his next great psychological thriller screenplay! Excellent word. You have a strong, skilled writer's voice, and I am very impressed with the originality of your storytelling. Keep up the great work.
DeleteAfter a hard day at school, I went home by feet . I was really tired that I wanted just to go bed and have a rest, but while I was walking home I realized that my house’s color had changed. How can this had happened? May be I was so exhausted that I was imagining things . I rubbed my eyes and saw again but It still the same result . I choked when I opened the door , everything had changed . In the living room , all the furniture had changed ; the armchairs , the table , the chairs , the television and all decoration too as vases and pictures on the wall but in a odd and dark colors . In the kitchen too , all utensils had been changed and all the knives were on the table . In the rooms also , mine was frightening , it walls were painted in white and black , my bed was also dark , my mirror was broken into small pieces . In the hallway , bleed marks made me out of that I screamed and started crying but I couldn’t run away my feet weren’t able to. In the final my mum came to wake me up , It was simply a nightmare .
ReplyDeleteWhat a ghastly nightmare! Horrific! It's sounds like a bad Halloween prank. I liked your story very much. Salma, when you write next time, please be more aware of the spacing between your punctuation.
DeleteFriday,September 13th, ( unlucky day )
ReplyDeleteIt is weekend ; Time to have fun, relax and spoil myself !! This month, Sarah has to organize a pyjama party in her cottage. Every girl should prepare something and bring it with her to our monthly sleepover. I wanted to cook some cookies, pancakes and brownies to pamper my friends. At 8 p.m., I went to Sarah’s and started helping her in the preparatives ; we placed mats on the floor, that we use as beds. We also stored our make-up and nail polishes in a pink box. At 9 p.m., every single piece was perfect ! The room was so causy, pink and warm to receive guests.
After spending some quality time, I went back home. I am in my neighbourhood. Here is my residence. I parked my car, took the lift, and opened the door . What is that awful smell ?! Why are the walls black ? My soul was whispering’’ Fatine , calm down !take a deep breath ! ‘’ . I moved to the kitch where the smell was really intense . This can’t be my kitchen . What a metamorphosis ! Everything is black . Everything is like dust . What happened ??!!
I forgot my pancakes in the oven and it blew up . What a shame !!
Really? Thirteen is my lucky number, and I always had good experiences on Friday the 13th. Oh well, you are correct; there is a superstition of that being scary day. Blown up pancakes are never a lucky omen. Your story was very original and creative. Just make sure you check your vocabulary when writing. I think you may have gotten confused with some word (i.e. "preparatives = preparation, "cause" = cozy, "kitch" = kitchen).
DeleteAfter a long day of work, I just wanted to go home and rest. But to my surprise, I did not find my house. All my memories, my sorrows and my moments of joy disappeared. I have nothing in the house, furniture, decoration, my room everything has changed. In a state of shock I thought it was rather a nightmare but it is a reality, everything has changed.The kitchen had a weird style, the furniture gone, my preferred drink too. On the side of the room, instead of my beautiful bed he had a dirty couch. I remember that it did me very afraid, the house was just awful. But my greatest joy, my mother woke me to go to high-school. Fortunately, it was just a bad nightmare.
ReplyDeleteWhat a bad dream. I hate when I wake up to bad dreams. This is a very good paragraph, Dalal. Thank you for sharing it on this blog.
DeleteMy brother and I went on a trip to Egypt; we had so much fun. We came back to Morocco, the weather was fine and everything was perfect. We walked out of the airport and took a taxi. When we arrived at home we were choked, everything was different, the furniture, the color of the walls. We freaked out because the problem is that this is our house, every room is in its place but no one was there. For me, I was sure that it’s a kind of joke, but my brother was literally terrified. We sat on the new sofa that wasn't there before and tried to breath for a moment, tried to figure things out. Suddenly, we heard someone at the door, each one of use was holding some kind of weapon. They came in laughing together, it was my parents. We later sat down and my mom told that because we weren't there, it was an opportunity for here to redecorate the house. We were the joke of the house later that night.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Your Mom accidentally tricked you! A very well-developed idea. There is a lot of imagery and action going on in such a small paragraph, and I am impressed with the structure of your writing. All is well save a few minor mistakes missed in proofreading.
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ReplyDeleteOn a sunny day of July, right after my exams, I had just one idea in mind: coming home and lying on my bed. Relaxation and rest were all what I wanted after that long and tiring week. When I arrived in front of the door, I realized that I forgot my keys, as I was in a hurry that morning. So,I rang,but to my suprise no one opened the door. As I turned the doorknob, it was opened. "Strange", I thought at the first place, but what I saw after this was even more surprising. Everything was different...in a bad way. It wasn't my house anymore, it was just an endless room, with only a chair in the corner and a mirror in front of it. I looked for my parents but no one was in there. That couldn't be real! I decided to get out from that house, which wasn't mine anymore, but the door was locked. that moment, I started freeking out seriously. I tried to shout and ask for help, hoping that the neighboors would hear me, but no word came out.
ReplyDeleteAfter a while, I had only one choice: I sat on that chair, as I was so exhausted. Alone, in an empty room, I looked into the mirror...It wasn't me!But a smiling handsome man. What was that supposed to mean? Suddenly, the walls were caving in around me, I was running out of air. Then all what I saw was a blinding white light and a beep. I woke up ! As I opened my eyes, I saw the same handsome man, wearing a physician's dress, telling me that everything was ok, and that I had just woken up from my anesthesia. I smiled, closed my eyes, and dreamed of the handsome doctor again, but that time, it wasn't a nightmare.
Waking up to a handsome doctor is the perfect end to that story! Maybe he was like one of those hunky doctors from Grey's Anatomy. I very much enjoyed your story. Your writing skills well-developed and you did a great job of building suspense with your story. Just make sure to proofread before posting!
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ReplyDeleteThis summer, I decided to travel alone to become more autonomous. When I returned to my town, my friend proposed to come and take me to my house as my parents were away from home. He told me that he prepared a surprise and ask me to close my eyes. So I did! We went upstairs and entered to my house! As soon as I openned the door, I was paralysed; the decoration wasn't familiar. The room was darker; the walls were painted with grey. My favourite sofa disappeared, my televison got smaller. All my favourite team's posters disapeared too and have been replaced by another team's posters! I was really scared, I sat down and asked him what happened to my house. Then he started laughing at me and told me that it wasn't mine; it was his new house. He bought it while I was out of town and the surprise is that he's going to live just in front of me. Sometimes, friends can use some kinds of sarcasm beyond your expectations and it might surprise us.
ReplyDeleteYassir! How funny! That tricked ended up being a great surprise for the writer. You writing is very inspired, and I like your descriptions of places and actions. Just make sure when you are writing general statements that the pronouns you use in generalizations have fluidity and agreement.
DeleteAfter a long week of relaxation,I was finally back to my sweet home. When I opened the door everything was red. It was all blood. Nobody was here, there was only some decapitated hands and legs on the floor. I was scared ans somehow exited to know to which persons those members belong. So I continued my exploration of the house. Even if the blood was everywhere, I noticed that even the decoration changed. The only thing that was untouched was the bed. As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I realize that someone was sitting on the couch watching the television. He had a mask, a chainsaw, and was waiting for another person to murder. He told me to sit next to him, I had no choice to obey. We started talking, and we realized that we had a lot of common points so we became friends.
ReplyDeleteMarwane, I think a good title for your paragraph would be: My Best Friend, The Chainsaw Murderer. It's got a good hook, don't you think? Your descriptions and choices of collocations are extremely good, and I love how your paragraphs develops so quickly and fluidly. Nicely written.
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